couldnt be bothered....

      So I just got back from a jazz show that was quite inspiring. I love how alive jazz music is. The dynamics and feel is completely changeable by the people in the group. Really keeps you on your toes and requires a lot of teamwork to pull it off well. I feel that my life has a lot of the same properties. The people around you can either inspire or push you away from where you are headed. It is very easy to trick yourself into thinking that you are doing the correct things in life. For me, it is very easy to find myself pursuing something I don’t really want because of outside influence. For example, I find myself wanting to go out and pick up girls that are hot just to show I can, but in all honesty, those girls will not make me happy. This is the easy way out. When you go looking for love, no matter how attractive or cool you are, it is very difficult to find what you are looking for. Finding someone that matches your personality and with whom you can share your true self with, is hard and takes much emotional energy. Attractiveness and other shallow things cannot be used as a crutch in this pursuit. When all the smoke and mirrors come down and serious commitment is involved, those things become pluses and not the centerpiece of the relationship. After having a few conversations with a few close friends, I’ve realized that in many situations I have deceived myself into thinking I was doing correct things when really I was taking the easy way out. The truth is, the easy way out with art, friends, and romantic interests is cheap and trite. Any true meaning that can be developed requires commitment. Whether its helping a friend with a photo shoot (while awkwardly staring into a friend’s eyes faking that your in love but cant help but laugh the whole time(Mandy you’re the best!)), doing a the 40^th take on one song you just cant get right, or calling a friend just to make sure they are doing alright, putting your heart and time into something is essential. When I do fall in the trap of lacking commitment, I’ve been left wondering what I was doing with my life. The people who truly are passionate and push to be what they want without reserve inspire me everyday to do the same. To Matt, Nate and Koga: thanks for showing me again what beautiful things can be made with hard work and commitment.

Much Love

Jake